old_bridge_NJ_5756_Meeting_20231114_180216.mp4

Speaker 1 [00:00:00] The 10-4-6 this meet. This means that tonight's meeting is as advertised in the News Tribune, on the board of the schools that are Cablevision Channel 118 and Verizon FIOS Channel 24. Notice of the meeting has also been filed with the township clerk. This meeting was scheduled for November 14, 2023. The purpose of this meeting is to discuss policy and health and safety issues related to the district. Please rise.

Speaker 2 [00:00:33] I pledge allegience, to the Flag, of the United States of America. And to the republic, for which it stands. Once nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Speaker 1 [00:00:46] ... There's an agenda up there with you guys out there have recieved, in the back table in the corner. The agenda does say that we're going to be going over policy alerts. There's about 15 or 20 of them. We decided to not go over those at the comittee meeting, but we'll be going over those at the Agenda Meeting under Policy Committee. So because of the size of the room, the size of the audience, I hope you also will respect the fact of the importance of the policy. 5756 and also the policy 9240. We're going to ... Jump right to the open discussion of the public. Couple of housekeeping rules. We do have a microphone set up on our left side to the right side of you guys. If you have anything you'd like to speak about. You can form a line. We're going to give the audience members and 5 minutes time limit to speak. I think that's a three minute time limit to speak. My apologies. ... Just a few commonsense things, we just ask for respect, we don't want any screaming, blurting out from the audience if you want to be heard. That is where you'll be held, that you'll be heard from. Keep it in orderly fashion. You've got students in the audience. Let's be respectful of that. And that's it. So it's just it's just sort of done on a voluntary basis. I'm sorry. And most importantly, no action will be taken tonight on the board. We're not voting on anything tonight. This is an open discussion. I've been a major advocate for community meetings. This is an opportunity to be heard by the public. We were voted in by you guys. So it's important to hear your opinions and we value them, and we'd like you to just respect one another. Thank you. So if anybody wants to speak, have anything to say about the policy because it's following the public speaking, the board will have their discretion on the policy as well. So, please, in an orderly fashion, you can make your way up to the microphone.

Mark Stanton [00:03:03] My name is Mark Stanton, and I'm the Chairman of Memorial Temple in New Brunswick.

Mark Stanton [00:03:10] I understand that the proposal is reversing a chance for kids to have confidentiality, speaking to their teachers, their faculty, administrators of schools.

Mark Stanton [00:03:26] In confidence that whatever they're feeling or whatever they're going through as they're growing.

Mark Stanton [00:03:34] The opportunity to do it in a safe way. Kids don't always have safety at home.

Mark Stanton [00:03:42] When they're going through emotional turmoil of trying to figure out who they are.

Mark Stanton [00:03:49] You know, there's so many things that we learn in our schools that are taught. And then there are others that are not as well known as who we are inside. You know, I started to look.

Mark Stanton [00:03:59] At the beginning of the Bible, the Torah in my community. And when God.

Mark Stanton [00:04:07] Created the earth, heaven and earth, those are two extremes. God created the day and the night, but didn't actually say that God created the afternoon or the evening. But they were described as extremes with the assumption that everybody would understand that everything in the middle was created along with it. God created.

Mark Stanton [00:04:30] Him, God created man and male and female. God created them.

Mark Stanton [00:04:36] But those are kind of the extremes, and there needs to be a way to justify the chance for kids as they're growing up with new understandings of the words that we grew up with. That God is unveiling more and more details as we go along. And we need to have safety. We have safety in camps when we have kids that are away from their parents and can experiment with who they are and try to figure it out. And maybe it's just a phase and maybe it's not. So I really hope that you'll look at the policies that have been approved already and not go back on them and allow kids to have the safety of trying to figure out who they are without potentially endangering them by having the parents brought in. Sometimes the parents are incredibly loving and understanding and will struggle along with them. Sometimes parents are not. They come with their own prejudices and they come with their own biases and bigotry and that it is inflicted on kids. So l, I beg you to reconsider what you are voting on.

Speaker 1 [00:06:04] Just a heads up, we're going to give you a one minute warning to just you have a heads up. ... Thank you.

Kevin [00:06:11] My name is Kevin Ray. I've been a resident of Old Bridge for 16 years and I've had two kids come through the school. They're 2019 and 2021 and extremely proud of the work and of what they did here.

Kevin [00:06:25] I came, when I first came, my kids were homeschooled.

Kevin [00:06:29] And my daughter started here in ninth grade. And I remember coming in with my partner and we and we were seeing the mural of LGBT and it made us cry because growing up as queer people, we didn't get to see that. Now I grew up and I went to that marriage. I grew up in different ways and then I found myself later in life. I will also say I have also been an LGBT advocate person for domestic sexual violence matters. As a state coordinator and I came and.

Kevin [00:06:59] I also worked for Monmouth County, and I would go into schools and I would talk about domestic and sexual violence.

Kevin [00:07:06] And talk about what it means to be outed. And I would out myself as to who I am. I am non-binary. I came out two years ago and then. I lost my family, I lost my, except for my kids, I lost many of my friends. I had my holidays all by myself now. That I can meet, and I'm at 51 and I get to start my whole life over again, but these kids who are in school don't, these kids are in school are terrified. When I would go in and I would talk about outing and what that meant for somebody and these kids in tears going down their face and reaching out to me and after about not learning about themselves or not seeing who they were. Now I've been attacked. I've been sexually assaulted since this has happened to me, and I'm working on it. I am strong and I can do this, and I think I can do this. The money that would be used to pay for ... Legal stuff, can be used to pay to help these kids get a start in life. It would be so much better right now in my life... I have. Like I finally just got a car for the first time in, like nine months. And then you get to come to that meeting and here I am not going to be.

Kevin [00:08:26] In Old Bridge much longer, unfortunately, my house is in foreclosure, But I would say this it was important enough that when this showed up on my newsfeed today, I came here and I started a group called the LGBTQ plus people of Old Bridge, and yall are welcome to come out and join. And even when I leave, i wanna be able to leave that for them. But I just want to say coming as a person who was an adult and had a hard time finding services, and thing that I need, I can't imagine what it's like to be a student here in this school right now. Fearfull. And you want your kids terrified to come home to you. Do you want them terrified or do you want them living? And thats all I have to say. Thank you.

Carolyn [00:09:21] My name is Carolyn. I'm a resident of Old Bridge now.

Carolyn [00:09:28] A mother of four children.

Carolyn [00:09:30] And five grandchildren. And I'm just going to say off the bat that I think all of us want the school to be a safe place.

Carolyn [00:09:38] For our children, no matter what they identify as. But first, I want to thank you for allowing public comment on policy 5756, a controversial policy that was rolled out by Strauss since May of 2018.

Carolyn [00:09:54] And was originally pushed mandatory until two months ago when the deputy.

Carolyn [00:09:59] A.G. James Michael, admitted that it was guidance only and not mandatory. So since then, numerous school districts have recinded 5756 and for good reason.

Carolyn [00:10:12] Abolishing 5756 lines up with the results of a recent Momouth University poll, which revealed that a majority of parents are not in agreement with the terms to remove local autonomy and parental Authority. In fact 77% feel that middle and high school should be required to notify parents of their child wants to be an identifying of a different gender. That 77% of parents who want to know everyone's know about their child, not because we hate. On the contrary, responsanle parents care about all matters pertaining to their children, especially when we see a policy that made it seem like grooming and indoctrination of children. 5756 does this by keeping parents in the dark about a serious and potentially life threatening situation with a minor, as you consider 5756 I believe there are two issues that you as a school board member will wrestle with.

Carolyn [00:11:16] First is the notion that a child can change their sex. That's the problem. 5756 clandestinely promotes the mutilation of children under the misleading banner of gender affirming care, with gender now being promoted as a social construct. You as a school board member will decide whether to continue swimming in these unchartered waters of reconstructive identity and child mutilation. Or you can aid and stop again. The second thing you will wrestle with is the requirement of all of this to be kept secret from the parents. If tylenol cannot be dispensed in secret, how and why something of this nature radically changing one of one's identity not being disclosed to parents.

Carolyn [00:12:06] If a student is struggling mentally or emotionally with gender dysphoria, and the school is aware, but the parents are not notified, couldn't the district to be found liable for damages if the student were to harm themselves. One survey showed that up to 80% of trans individuals suffer from serious psychopathology and gender affirming care largely fails to remedy those problems. If you truly want to help these children work with their parents on ..., and ditch 5756.

Speaker 4 [00:12:48] We have more people here than we have a minutes, so please tuck it in within 3 minutes or we will ask you to stop. And ask you to move from the microphone. We are trying to hear everybody. Thank you.

Lisa [00:13:02] My name is Lisa McCartney. I come here as a parent, an educator, a social justice advocate, and a Christian. I have two degrees with a concentration in gender studies, and I write in prison workshops on gender identification. I have spent my entire adult life working with children and youth.

Lisa [00:13:20] Christian Theologian William Paley had said, there was a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance. That principle is contempt. Prior to emancipation, the media and Internet have created and spreads in everything from science and medicine to law. No longer do we respect education, knowledge and actual lived experience that goes into being knowledgeable about the subject. The pandemic highlighted this as all of a sudden we had educate ... we had expert in everything from educating children to baking bread. The repeal of this policy is guaranteed to put at least one child in this district in danger. And I worry that you are rushing to condemn the current policy as being dangerous without investigating extensively. We obviously want school to be a safe place for students, but for all students. With almost 25% of homeless teens identifying as queer and queer students, three times more likely to be rejected by their families or attempt suicide, at least one student will be harmed if they are outed to their parents. What steps will you take to ensure that that student is protected?

Lisa [00:14:22] You are also putting a burden on teachers who should be concerned with educating students. How are you going to help the teacher, who outs a student, and then, because they are rejected by their family, thrown out on the street or worse. Commit suicide. No teacher which really cares about their students is going to be able to shoulder that guilt. Transgender youths have been here forever. It's not their existence that has changed, it is the willingness of society to learn. Just like we now have technical knowledge that we didn't have 100 years ago. So to, do we have more knowledge about gender identity and expression? Please, attend a space and Safe Zone Workshop on Gender. Read one of the many academic books or articles on gender identity. Talk to a trans youth yourself, but I beg you, if you are not actually a gender scholar, please learn a little bit more before assuming that would Panic driven parents with no ... Knowledge tell you is the truth because allowing two children to identify as their authentic selves is not grooming. I could have sent my son to be raised by the Dallas Cowboys. He still would have been gay. Although I am a Christian and I was going to say the Giants, but I am old, I am a Christian. I am not God and I don't try to be God. But I would say this If God truly created all of us, then He created my son to be a gay man. Telling anyone that the way they feel about themselves is not only wrong, it is dangerous and a horrible way for educators to treat children. These children are bullied enough. You cannot legislate gender differences out of existence. Repealing this policy will do nothing more than send kids back into the closet. And I would urge you to please not make that harmful decision without more information and education to back it up and help you. Thank you.

Kimberly [00:16:07] Good evening. My name is Kimberly, I'm from Old Bridge, and I just want to start off with this.

Kimberly [00:16:20] Thank you for taking the time for recinding 5756. 5756 had ... far reaching effects teaching parenting, relationships, First Amendment rights, harmful effects of hormonal drugs, discrimination in the even to name just a few. These areas of concern have emerged from the previous Board of Education meetings also, and not limited to the special education student population, which are affected by the invitation of five, seven, five, six. As a former special education teacher, I would like to remind the board about how five, seven, five six affects all the student diversity. ... Population is comprised of the community and resource diversity, which is 5756 which concerns are not addressed. The development of the brain, especially prefrontal cortex, needs to be addressed when rescinding 5756.

Kimberly [00:17:15] Number one, the stage of the brain development is debate about what age a brain is fully developed. "At what age of the brain is fully developed" is the name of the article, which was published by Mental Health Daily. This article has significant information that should be included in recinding the Act. Due to the containments... Due to time constraints. I would like to highlight a few more points.

Kimberly [00:17:41] One) At the age of 25, the brain is fully developed. Some say 30.

Kimberly [00:17:47] Two) the prefrontal cortex is still growing between 18-25 years old.

Kimberly [00:17:51] Three) During puberty, the prefrontal cortex of the brain begins to develop for impulsive and difficult thinking, and goal setting difficulty during puberty areas.

Kimberly [00:18:01] Five) Puberty. During puberty, a high level reward system is achieved. Brain activity returns to normal in 25.

Kimberly [00:18:09] Organize thinking) hormones affect the concentration ability to organize thinking of teenagers.

Kimberly [00:18:15] Seven) Personality Development. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for personality development with there being more stimulation of the prefrontal cortex, a job you struggled with, identity issues with a favorable personality decision making, which is liberating. Teenagers are, as many of us now have some challenges making good decisions, especially your parent of choices. Another form part of the people the cortex plays in developing your logical thinking and means in the learning situation. Also the ability to make a good versus bad decision is connected to the development of the prefrontal cortex. So significant to the brain development alone needs to be considered because a child goes through all these changes and diversity and the learning of a child of the different spurts. As a teacher you constantly assessing. So this important ... Thank you for your free time.

Jordan [00:19:25] Hello! My name is Jordan ?. I am 29 years old. I am the manager of psychiatric nursing at a large New Jersey hospital. I am the product of Old Bridge township schools . Long time no see Mr. ?. I am also a proud gay man. So. My primary focus is adolescent psychiatry. Although I cover all age groups, all pathologies. I primarily deal with the issues facing adolescents. The one I find the most troubling that I see in my work every single day are kids who identify as transgender and non-binary.

Jordan [00:20:10] My hospital is not a hospital you go to when you break your leg or you have the flu. My hospital is the hospital you go to when you want to end your life. When you feel that you are not worth anything in this world and that before the age of 18, you have made the decision that I would rather die than continue existing. Just today I had a patient who was scheduled to discharge go home to their parents, very conservative Christian evangelical parents. They said to the nurse, I'm refusing to go home. And if I go home, I will kill myself. They canceled their discharge because it was determined that the home environment was not safe for them to go.

Jordan [00:20:56] I'm going to take all back to psychology class for a minute. And one important thing I want you to know is that there's a theory called Erickson's ... Erickson's Theory of Psychosocial Development. The fourth step addresses adolescence, which is identity versus role confusion. We're going to get to the confusion. Don't hang on that word. So identity versus role confusion involves discussing gender identity, discovering it as well as sexual identity, and learning your roles in society, as well as creating your own personal ethos from that. If Adolescence are supported in their explanation and their exploration of their roles and given that freedom and that support. They are likely to emerge from that stage, which is age of 18, leaving high school with a strong sense of self and independence and self control. That's what you're sending kids off to college with. When I was here at Oak Ridge High School, I was suicidal. I spent a good portion of my high school years thinking I was worth nothing even after I started the pride club I dealt with a lot of personal self-hatred because I felt no one wanted to be with me. No one wanted to be near me. I was the fagot and everything that nobody wanted to be. And guess what? I confided in my teachers and they helped me realize I was worth something. Do not use this as a moment to weaponize teachers and make them the police of your children. You are afraid of what you don't understand. You are not going to erase them. They're going to exist. Don't do that.

OB Teacher [00:22:46] I don't have anything prepared? I wish I did, but I felt I had to come here and speak out.

OB Teacher [00:22:51] I'm a lifelong resident of Old Bridge. My two sons just graduated this past year from Old Bridge high school and I've been a teacher for 26 years. So what we're talking about today has been around since I've been a teacher, and I've been proud to support these students my entire career. I'm very proud of that, along with a lot of my colleagues at the school. I started the GSA, along with some very brave students 20 years ago, and it is very much needed now, probably even more now than ever before, even though we've gotten many rights. It's ridiculous to me that we're standing here talking about this because it hasn't been a thing for 26 years in the history, maybe even longer than that. And now all of a sudden it's a thing. And it's an oxymoron to say protecting parents rights over the students lives. If you want to rescind protections from the students. That, to me, makes no sense. Listen to that statement. Rescinding protections for students. My whole job, my whole career is protecting the students and protecting my sons. So as a parent and as a teacher and a community member, my kids and your kids come first. I protect them every day, and I don't want them to live in fear, to go home, live in fear of walking down the hallways. I don't want to see this law change. And I've been a proud resident of New Jersey, proud resident of Old Bridge. And now with this has come here. I have been proud to live in this state with a lot of rights. We've been lucky here, but now it's come here so we don't have to fight for our rights every single day. So good luck to all the trans and non-binary. We stand with you.

Vinny [00:24:54] Hello. Like the previous speaker, I don't have any prepared remarks. I just heard about this. Have had to come out. Can you spell your name? Oh, sure. My name is Vinny. I went to school here. I'm a lifelong Old Bridge resident as well. I also know this facility.

Vinny [00:25:16] And I just wanted to come here to say that I was a gay student here. I'm gay, man. Now, I mean. I live happily on Old Bridge still. I'm still an Old Bridge Resident. I live with my fiancee, quite close to here. And I just have a story for you. I'm just, I'm not trans, but I would like to tell a story about a gay man I know that grew up with parents that didn't understand what he was going through or who he was. And unfortunately, this person no longer has any contact with his parents at all. When he came out, they disown him and he doesn't even live in the same state as them anymore. He had to leave and live with a friend in a different state that would take him in. That's the unfortunate reality, is that even now, most parents, the vast majority of all parents, love their children and truly want what's best for them and can help them achieve that, reach their best selves, be nurturing, loving. I came out when I was in seventh grade, so before I was even in this high school and my parents were caring and affectionate. Most parents are caring and affectionate, but unfortunately, the fact of life is that bigoted people exist in this world, and bigoted people can be parents, too, and they can do very harmful things to children. And it's important for kids to be able to have privacy. It really is. I'm not a doctor. I don't have facts about psychology or anything like that. But I know it's important to protect kids privacy.

Vinny [00:27:22] If there's something that about their personal lives and sexuality and gender identity is a personal thing, they shouldn't be compelled to disclose that to their parents just because those people are their parents. You know, if school in the South in the mid 20th century shouldn't have been forced to tattle on children in school, in interracial relationships just because racist parents wanted to know that. That's really all I have to say. Thank you. And, you know, at please protect the students. Please protect their privacy.

16y Student [00:28:07] 16 years old. I'm a lifelong resident of Old Bridge, and I just want to say thank you to the school board for having to listed to all of us for like 3 hours. I have volunteered in our library helps run games for community days and I've even played. It's been a week. I stand before you today, as I have many other days, to encourage you to attend policy 5756. Now, I want to begin this by mentioning that I only want the best for trans people in our country to give you the freedom to live your life. And nobody here is denying that you deserve love and protection from hate and harm. My heart goes out to trans, both transgender and cisgender people who have been sexually assaulted, like a very nice person who came up in the beginning. However, the people around you also deserve their protection.

16y Student [00:28:50] Breale ? deputy director of Garden State Equality said it best when they said, We are losing focus of who is at the center of these policies, which are the youth? So as I speak to you on behalf of other youths to say that this policy actively harms kids of all ages. It fosters a belief that, to paraphrase George Orwell, everyone is equal, but some are more equal than others. So to prove my point, let me paint a picture using the words of policy 5756 itself.

16y Student [00:29:16] The school district shall provide transgender students with the same opportunities to participate in physical education as other students in accordance with their gender identity, and permit its transgender students to participate in ... gender segregated school activities in accordance with the student's gender identity. Essentially, that second part means they can do anything their gender and sexuality is. Unfortunately, people can and will use the system.

16y Student [00:29:41] In a simple 5 minutes Google search. I have come across five schools that have reported sexual assault by a trans woman. Johnson Middle School , ASK? Academy High school, Edwin Memorial High School and ? High School. And sadly, at least 80% of rape cases go unreported. Do the math. That means at least 25 cases judging by commonly held rate metrics that service from a single Google search. Obviously, this does not equal trans women or men are pedophiles because a generalization like that would be harmful and hateful. In our society we need to be aware and hyper vigilant of men who intend to harm vulnerable girls. And unfortunately, girls like Ray from ASK academy describe being afraid to come forward to and not to be labeled bigoted.

16y Student [00:30:23] All we know is many 30 white kids, weapons, everything are just these bad cases. And the reality is the policy 5756 repealed. Trans kids will not be bullied at a high rate. Title nine still applies protecting any child from bullying, harm and heavily punishing inappropriate behavior. The repealing of policy 5756 will not negatively impact trans people any more than the average app on our current bill. Confused, let me explain. Abuse is universal, meaning being trans doesn't necessarily put you in higher abuse category other than being the trigger for it. Unfortunately, anything from playing hopscotch or bring home a ... report card will bring the wrath of an abuser.

16y Student [00:31:02] Being outed as trans will not cause you to be abused. Abusers, cause you to be abused. We don't make policy. I assume people would actually do something. We don't ...

Speaker 1 [00:31:08] Thank you Sir.

Dr. de Grail [00:31:22] Good evening. I'm the Reverend Dr. Ellen de Grail. And as we were in public school, I am not here to speak as a woman of faith, although I obviously am. I'm here to talk to you a little bit about my experience as a high school drama coach. And you can imagine in my years of teaching some of them right here in Old Bridge, New Jersey, I had a number of students come out to me. The one that sticks with me the most is a young man named Joe. He couldn't go home and tell his parents he was abusing alcohol and drugs. He was self-destructive. When it came to me, the safe teacher, what could I do? I called the other drama kids in and I said, Joe needs some extra love right now. And they rallied around that young man, the only safe place he had to be, who he was. And as Joe struggled with his orientation and his gender, those kids stuck by him. And I was not required to go and report to his parents, who needed a lot more education, what Joe's issues were. And I think that we saved Joe's life. So I want you to think about that student and the other students in those situations as you make this decision. We do want to love our students. We keep them safe and we want to affirm them just the way God made them.

Shawn [00:32:54] Hi everyone. I'm Shawn ? . I live in Hillsboro. I have worked with kids for almost 35 years and past 20 years, I was an elementary school counselor here in Oak Bridge, and I retired in June.

Shawn [00:33:04] First, let me say that I understand and respect parents rights and a desire to know what's going on with their children in school. After all, that's what's best for the great majority of students. In my experience, the wonderful teachers and other school staff here in Oak Bridge do, too. As I've said before, I'm deeply saddened by certain accusations in the country.

Shawn [00:33:24] Policy 5756 does not, as some people believe even have asserted, prevent staff from speaking with parents or guardians. It provides that in the district the guidance is designed to protect those children who need it not to serve the parents rights. Most children will need the protection of this policy. Some might. Children have rights, but children have right to left on the mainland.

Notes [00:33:49] Note - The room microphone was having issues. This speech is continued in Video 2